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STEVE MARTIN

Steve Martin(born August 14, 1945) is an American comedian, actor, writer, playwright, producer, musician and composer.The Comedian as Rock Star : Steve Martin is the first stand up comedian to sell out tickets for a stadium. In the mid-1970s, Martin made frequent appearances as a stand-up comedian on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. That exposure, together with appearances on HBO's On Location and NBC's Saturday Night Live (SNL) (on which, despite a common misconception, he was never a cast member) led to his first of three comedy albums, Let's Get Small. The album was a huge success; one of its tracks, "Excuse Me", helped establish a national catch phrase. His next album, A Wild and Crazy Guy, was an even bigger success, reaching the #2 spot on the sales chart in the U.S. and featured another catch phrase (the album's title), also featured in a Saturday Night Live sketch in which Martin and Dan Aykroyd played a couple of bumbling CzechoslovakianKing Tut", sung and written by Martin and released as a 45 RPM single during the King Tut craze that accompanied the extremely popular traveling exhibit of the Egyptian king's tomb artifacts; the single reached #17 in 1978. The song was backed by the "Toot Uncommons" (they were actually members of the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band). The album was a million seller. Both albums won Grammys for Best Comedy Recording in 1977 and 1978, respectively. Steve performed "King Tut" on the April 22, 1978 edition of SNL. In his comedy albums, Martin's stand-up comedy was clearly self-referential and sometimes self-mocking. It mixes philosophical riffs with sudden spurts of "happy feet", banjo playing with balloon depictions of concepts like venereal disease. His style is off-kilter and ironic, and sometimes pokes fun at stand-up comedy traditions, such as Martin opening his act by saying, "I think there's nothing better for a person to come up and do the same thing over and over for two weeks. This is what I enjoy, so I'm going to do the same thing over and over and over....I'm going to do the same joke over and over in the same show, it'll be like a new thing."

Demetri Martin (No relation to steve)

In 2001, Martin caught his first big break in stand-up comedy when he appeared on Comedy Central's stand-up showcase Premium Blend. In 2003 he won the Perrier Comedy Award at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival with his show If I.... The show was turned into a British television special in 2004.From 2003 to 2004, Martin was a writer for Late Night with Conan O'Brien.In 2004, Martin had his own Comedy Central Presentsstand-up special. His special was divided into three parts. In the first, he performed in traditional stand-up comedy fashion. In the second segment, he used humorous drawings as visual aids, which would serve either as the punchline or a background. During the third segment, he played a guitar and put on a pseudo-play where he would strum his guitar while talking; some of his comedian friends dressed as fairies and dragons and acted according to the story he was telling, detailing the magical land where the jokes he told came from. Martin's mother and grandmother also appeared.Since late 2005, he has been credited as a contributor on The Daily Show, on which he hosts a segment called "Trendspotting." He has used this segment to talk about so-called hip trends among youth such as hookahs, wineguerilla marketing, and Xbox 360. A piece about social networking featured his profile on MySpace. On March 22, 2007, Demetri made another appearance on The Daily Show talking about the Viacom lawsuit against Google and YouTube.Martin has brought his mother and grandmother into many of his sketches and background commentary. Other family members used to help create schemes are his Uncle Johnny and his sister Christene.

Get Schooled-ComedySchools

What? Are You Blind?

Stolen Property Outta material? Steal some-- JOKES

'I was in an orgy ... but it felt like it was being directed by Mike Leigh' Russell Brand

I used to smoke marijuana. But I'll tell you something: I would only smoke it in the late evening. Oh, occasionally the early evening, but usually the late evening - or the mid-evening. Just the early evening, mid-evening and late evening. Occasionally, early afternoon, early mid-afternoon, or perhaps the late-mid-afternoon. Oh, sometimes the early-mid-late-early morning. . . But never at dusk. Never at dusk.--Steve Martin

"Can I just shock you? I like wine. Despite what I just said earlier. At any one time I have nine bottles of wine in my house."-Steve Coogan as Alan Partridge

'Well?, if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone?"-James Thurber

The whole world is about three drinks behind.--Ring LardnerComedyBoob.comHow Hungover are you?

I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.Rodney Dangerfield

--I found the secret of life the other day... but it kinda bummed me out.

----- You found the secret of life? Why did it bum you out?

--------It was on 8Track

----Hehehe...What's an 8 track?

 

"Yo Momma so FAT the back of her neck look like a pack of hot dogs"-anonymous

"The difference between theory and practice is that in theory there isn't any." - Yogi Berra

James Thurber

"The Owl Who Was God"

The secretary bird hastened back to the other creatures and reported that the owl indeed was the greatest and wisest animal in the world because he could see in the dark and because he could answer any question. "Can he see in the daytime, too?" asked a red fox? "Yes," answered a dormouse and a French poodle. "Can he see in the daytime, too?" All the other creatures laughed loudly at this silly question, and they set upon the red fox and his friends and drove them out of the region. They sent a messenger to the owl and asked him to be their leader.

When the owl appeared among the animals it was high noon and the sun was shining brightly. He walked very slowly, which gave him an appearance of great dignity, and he peered about him with large, staring eyes, which gave him an air of tremendous importance. "He’s God!" screamed a Plymouth rock hen. And the others took up the cry "He’s God!" So they followed him wherever he went and when he bumped into things they began to bump into things, too. Finally he came to a concrete highway and he started up the middle of it and all the other creatures followed him. Presently a hawk, who was acting as outrider, observed a truck coming toward them at fifty miles an hour, and he reported to the secretary bird and the secretary bird reported to the owl. "There’s danger ahead," said the secretary bird. "To wit?" said the owl. The secretary bird told him. "Aren’t you afraid?" he asked. "Who?" said the owl calmly, for he could not see the truck. "He’s God!" cried all the creatures again, and they were still crying "He’s God" when the truck hit them and ran them down. Some of the animals were merely injured, but most of them, including the owl, were killed.

From: James Thurber, Fables for Our Time and Famous Poems Illustrated (New York, 1940), pp. 35-36.

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